April Fool's

My silly April Fool's posts compiled into one place, with one exception: my 2021 three-parter (written by yearends; I only did the picture editing part) was apparently notable/lucky enough to get a TV Tropes page, so I've decided to give it its own page as a result.

I had initially hoped to make these a yearly tradition, but that has quickly fallen apart. That's certainly not to say I'll never make one again, though--stay tuned....

gentle comfy yuri with reader

Originally posted 2019-04-01

comfy innit?

Bayonetta poses seductively while wearing a sort of harness consisting of a few scant straps with an O-ring just under her collarbone. Very little is covered. Over that is a dark robe, pushed back so her breasts and puffy inverted nipples remain visible. Her hair is cut short, ala Bayonetta 2.

innit?

Okay, this requires a bit of explanation.

I had planned to make a caption of Bayonetta talking to the presumed-female reader, in the vein of my other Bayo caption. I didn't have anything in mind to write, so I made a placeholder text layer which read "comfy innit? innit?"

As I was looking over my incomplete captions for something to finish up and post, I found this and realized it would work as an April Fool's joke, hence why it was posted without fanfare in the wee hours of the morning on April 1.

Just because I used this picture for a joke caption doesn't mean it can't be made into a proper caption, as originally intended. Behold!

The image I used is fanart of Bayonetta from same, by superboin on Tumblr. Because Tumblr doesn't care about its users in the slightest, that post no longer exists, so here's a Danbooru mirror of the same image.

All persons depicted are fictitious, not owned by me (Bayonetta and all characters depicted are owned by PlatinumGames), and above the age of 18. Bayonetta's actually really old (607 as of the day this caption was originally posted)--her maturity should not be in question here.

The Ultimate Caption

Originally posted 2020-04-01

The time has come, and so have I. Behold, the culmination of close to two years of preparation. Everything has led up to this. Take a moment to prepare yourself before proceeding--you'll need it.

The image I used is original art entirely by me. I'm sure you'll agree it's my finest work yet! Begin scrolling--let the anticipation build. Believe me when I say it's worth it.

All persons depicted and mentioned are fictitious (for now), owned by me, and above the age of 18.

Insert long moment pregnant with tension so palpable you could pick it up and eat it like a sandwich here....

An extremely crude digital drawing of a naked green-haired woman with white-glowing eyes smiling with her hands behind her head. An even more crudely drawn erect penis, presumably hers, reaches just under her substantial breasts, ejaculating thin streams of scribbled cum. The caption's text is to her right (transcript below), written in glorious Comic Sans.

TRANSCRIPT:

Text addressing the viewer directly. Ooh, it's as if she's here in the room talking to me personally! The fact that she's in space for some reason doesn't affect that at all! Does that even work for anyone? If anything, my immersion is broken when he does that. Can't this guy just write porn like everyone else? Who even is that girl? I don't watch anime. She has glowing eyes now, because the author said so. Why the unrealistic lens flare? Why does this guy have such a hard-on for Mass Effect's lens flares? Tiddies the size of Vermont! And a penis, because of course she does. Oh, and now I suppose the glowing eyes make her God 2.0: Tokyo Drift, able to beat the actual God from the Bible at Connect Four 2006¾.5% of the time, which is supposed to arouse the viewers, I guess? Who gets horny over Connect Four, anyway? Put your hand down, Charlie. Of course he's being artsy with the text. Ooh, you made a bit of the text go behind her tiddy, so amazing. Probably incorrect math, but ooh-hoo-hoo, it's time to get horny over big numbers! Infinite infinities and stuff! That's not a thing! And neither is pure energy! Energy is the ability to do work! Was he high when he was writing this? Oh, and lest we forget: STAR TREK REFERENCE.

When I originally made this glorious monstrosity, I made a censored version for DeviantArt, since erect penises are against the rules and all that, and I kinda doubted they'd buy me saying "Ah but you see, this is in fact a legitimate medical or educational purpose, and therefore you should let me upload this anyway!". So I concluded the funniest approach would be to swap the penis for a bottle of mayonnaise, and in turn the word "penis" in the text to "mayonnaise". That way the puritans wouldn't throw a fit, and the recorded word count for this caption would remain the same!

The same exact image, only the penis has a bottle of mayonnaise slapped over it, making it entirely safe for the puritans who run DeviantArt.

Additionally, due to the bit about "Ooh, you made a bit of the text go behind her tiddy", I opted to maintain the image's original structure and provide a transcript. Can't quite reproduce an effect like that with HTML--or at least not easily.