Delta7447: Bayonetta

Mistress of the Nonstop Infinite Climax

Originally posted 2018-08-27

This one was a collaborative effort between Oloshadow and myself. I had been meaning to do a Bayonetta caption, and he, being a fan of my work, was interested in collaborating. I had been meaning to do another female self-insert caption after that Azusa one from a while back.

The image I used is fanart (specifically, a doujin cover) of Bayonetta from (you guessed it) Bayonetta, done by Carnelian (cropped to remove the doujin’s title). I’m afraid I’m unable to find a direct source for the image, so here’s the version on Gelbooru I used.

Bayonetta seductively licks her lips, lifting her leg up to reveal her black lace panties. A maid headband is balanced on the gun in her left hand.

Hi there, darling! I guess this isn’t quite what you were expecting when you booted up my game. Well, that’s understandable, my naughty little minx. It’s not every day that someone beats my game and its sequel on Non-Stop ∞ Climax difficulty so many times, after all!

You see, every time you beat the games, every time I defeated Jubileus and Aesir, I became significantly more powerful. You didn’t notice because you figured you were getting better at the game–but honestly, darling, you truly did need my help quite a few times. But, thanks to your loving and diligent gaze at my rather magnificent exploits, I became a goddess! I rather enjoyed all the power I wielded as merely an exceptional Umbra Witch... but now? Now I’m literally unstoppable! I love it!

So, since I have you to thank for my ascension to omnipotence, I’d like to give you something in return. I know you’ve played my games more than any others you own–not to mention your rather obvious mastery of my powers in that silly little “Smash Brothers” tournament thing–because you’re in love with me. I’m afraid I’m not big on love per se, seeing as I’m immortal now… but that doesn’t mean I’d turn down some good sex. Oh, what difference does it make if you’re a girl yourself? A literal goddess is offering you the greatest sex of your life–as well as her respect, which you know doesn’t come easy–and your first thought is, “But we’re both girls”? Let’s be honest, darling. I was quite aware all those times when you focused the camera on my lovely figure, and... well, I imagine you would enjoy having your way with me, instead of just staring.

Oh! Here’s a thought! A rather fun one, if I do say so myself... there! A maid headband, imbued with my powers. I’m afraid it won’t make you into a goddess like me, since we exist in different realities. I may respect you, but I seriously doubt you’d be able to handle being omnipotent. Don’t feel bad about that–most humans wouldn’t be able to, either.

It would, however, enhance your nervous system, so you don’t go catatonic from all the ecstasy I plan on pumping into your adorable writhing body! You’ll be capable of giving that same kind of pleasure to me, so I fully expect you to take advantage of it. I’ve never tolerated pillow princesses in the bedroom.

Let’s stop chit-chatting and get to my thanking you, shall we? Pillow talk comes after the fun, after all!

Lap Pillow Talk

Originally posted 2019-09-10

The title is in reference to the ~~lightsaber~~ "sword with a green energy beam for a blade" in the first game, Pillow Talk. The lap part should be self-explanatory.

Thanks to CrypticCollaborator and madokaaaaaaaaaaaa for beta reading and additional contributions, and Anon 247 for inspiration.

The image I used is fanart of Bayonetta from same, by superboin on Tumblr. That post no longer exists (most likely because Tumblr doesn't care about its users in the slightest) so here's a Danbooru mirror of the same image.

Hello again, darling. Please, sit down--take a load off. Comfortable? I would certainly hope so--I created this universe specifically for you. I was rewriting some terribly boring universes to make them more interesting when I realized that I really didn't care about goddesshood. I was much more interested in spending time with you. I never got over how I have you to thank for giving me all this. Umbra Witches find seduction is easy. Romance, on the other hand, is much harder.

Oh? Getting an eyeful, are you? You're not very subtle, you know... though, to be fair, I'm not doing much better. Go ahead, I know you want to rest your head on my thighs. You can as long as you want, sweetie.

I almost feel like a mother tending to her child. You're so spoiled.... Oh, who am I kidding? I think I like you like this. I wasn't anticipating ever having kids, but that time I spent with little Cereza and you right now are making me change my mind... but we can talk about kids another time. I brought you here to talk about something more pressing.

I think our time together has changed me. I know I said before that I'm not one for love, but... I think I'm willing to change that. You mean so much to me, to the point that I can't help but worry about when you... pass on. Before, I said that the different realities we exist in prevented me from making you omnipotent, but now that I've become more adept with my absolute power, I... I want to make the attempt, at least.

Only if you want it, of course. I've never been normal. Perhaps there's something delightful about being normal. But... that look in your eyes tells me that being something more than mortal is tantalizing to you. You're such a wonderful person that I... don't want to live without you. So... what do you say?

Thank you, Honey. I think I'll start calling you Honey--rolls off the tongue, don't you think? Well Honey, now that we're on the same page here, the thing to do now is figure out how to give you power like my own. I haven't the slightest clue what will be involved. This enterprise may very well be long, arduous, painful... but with you at my side, I think we can make it happen.