Overwatch

All persons depicted are fictitious, not owned by me (Overwatch and all characters depicted are owned by Blizzard Entertainment), and above the age of 18.

Update 2024-06-26: I'm officially calling it quits with Overwatch--I'm sick of it and I'm done. To be perfectly clear, that means I won't play the game anymore and I won't make any further captions or whatever of it. It DOESN'T mean I'm done making captions entirely.

Our New Omnipotent Korean Overlord

Originally posted 2018-02-24

It seemed like everyone, both in real life and on social media, could not stop talking about Hana Song's livestream in progress. You weren't much into competitive gaming or her combat streams, so you only had second-hand information about Song to go by. Cute girl, pro-StarCraft player, skintight bodysuit, part of the Mobile Exo-Force of the Korean Army... she was very interesting, but you somehow managed to still know nothing about her even to this day.

So you opened up the gaming stream site, expecting to see her mowing down people with her Fusion Cannons and flashing V-signs in front of tremendous explosions. What you saw was... not that, to say the least.

"I gotta say," she said, "in all my years as a pro-gamer-turned-MEKA-pilot-turned-actress, I've seen... quite a bit. Dare I say not much surprises me anymore. But this... this more than surprises me. I think anyone in my place would agree with that assessment!"

Clad in her MEKA suit, D.Va floats in space, winking and blowing a bubble with some gum that rivals the Earth in size. Her suit's pink accents glow blue, alongside her eyes and entire body.

Hana Song--D.Va--was in space. Moreover, she was ridiculously huge and radiating brilliant blue light somehow. At least, that's how it looked at first. It was a green screen effect or something. It did look startlingly convincing, though. You weren't fully convinced until the Earth drifted into the shot. In front of her.

"I don't even know how this happened to me. But I'm stupidly big now... somehow. Frankly, I don't think I care all that much. It feels good. ...Really good, actually. Like... like I'm one with the universe or something. There's so much power all throughout my body... and the best part is that I can tell that I have yet to even scratch the surface! I know, right?! There is SO much more power than just this! The prospect of that is just so... so... exhilarating!"

Now you were getting worried. Was there really an incomprehensibly large Korean girl floating in space, right next to the Earth? You scroll through the chat, desperately trying to find proof, one way or the other. You find a link to a video of a recorded segment from the live feed for the International Space Station. Given the time stamp, it happened less than an hour ago.

Sure enough, an enormous Korean girl was floating in space, dominating the shot. She turned in the station's direction and waved before turning back to nothing in particular, presumably to continue her livestream. There was no equipment that you could see. She was projecting herself onto the internet wholly by her own power... somehow. That word seemed to be coming up more and more lately.

"This is really great, but I kinda miss having gum-- oh! Would you look at that? I just think about gum, and then boom--I have some!" She paused a moment to chew her gum and blow a bubble. It ended up being about the same size as the Earth. You were horrified at how close it was to the planet. It popped, and your heart stopped beating for what felt like hours. Both the Earth on the screen and the one you were on seemed to be unaffected.

"God, these powers are so amazing! And I'm so glowy too! Blue admittedly isn't my first choice of color, but I gotta say, I look pretty good right now! What do you guys think? Go ahead and leave me a comment and I'll respond! Out here, this big and this powerful, I have literally all the time in the universe!"

She paused again to read the comments, which ranged from disbelief to exuberance akin to Hana's own to downright literal worship. A few comments, of course, brought up the enhanced figure that came with this inexplicable rush of absolute power.

"Ah. Yeah, sorry. I guess I have been repeating myself sometimes--my bad. You know, now that you mention it, I don't think my breasts have ever been this big before! This day is just full of surprises, isn't it?"

She giggled. It felt strangely good to hear her full of mirth... almost hypnotic, as if she was subconsciously influencing her audience's minds.

"So, as it turns out, I'm huge. And capable of... anything? Next to anything? Well, either way, who or whatever did this for me certainly won't be getting any complaints from me!

"I guess I'm a pro-gamer-turned-MEKA-pilot-turned-actress-turned-goddess now! That's pretty cool, if you ask me! Don't worry, guys--I don't really want worship or sacrifices, or really anything different from what you've been doing before! I may be cosmically big and possibly omnipotent now, but I'm still the same ol' D.Va! Just keep supporting me the way you have been as I transcend the entire human experience! Seeing as I've been broadcasting the image of myself online simply by willing it, you can definitely expect to hear from me again! Until then, everyone, this is D.Va signing off!"

Full title: "I, For One, Welcome Our New Omnipotent Korean Overlord!" I shortened it to comply with DeviantArt's 50-character limit for titles.

I'm admittedly not very well-versed in Overwatch lore, so a lot of the details here are just taken from the ever-helpful Overwatch Wiki. (Update 2023-12-18: I've gotten back into Overwatch after several years, though I confess I'm still not especially familiar with the lore. I have concluded I'm a D.Va main though, so that's neat.)

The image I used is fanart of Hana Song (aka D.Va) from Overwatch, done by mkonstantinov on DeviantArt.

Par the course, I added the glowy parts. Making her outfit solely blue reminded me of Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy's team skins, where each character fitting the humanoid skeleton was given red and blue variants on their outfits to indicate which team they're on for Team FFA, Capture the Flag, et al. I would've made her glow bubble gum pink, but the original art gave her a slight blue glow, making it easier to just make her glow blue instead.

After seeing this caption enjoy a modest amount of fame, I decided to do the math the same way I did for my first caption with Anya and Minami and calculate just how tall D.Va became. D.Va doesn't have an official height, so I went with the 166 cm estimate given by FlameWarrior260 on Reddit. The Earth's height (taking its radius and doubling it) is about 12,742 km tall. (It can vary depending on where you measure, but that's twice the value of the Earth radius given on the Wikipedia article on the subject.) With that, and enlarging the Earth seen in the caption somewhat to account for apparent depth (I can't guarantee any semblance of accuracy on that point--I literally guessed on how big to make it), I concluded D.Va is now 201,445 km tall. More or less. Arguably useless trivia, but I trust someone will appreciate it.

Lonely at the Top

Originally posted 2018-04-28

"Mei, hi! Hope I didn't pull you from anything important!"

"Oh, D.Va! I wasn't expecting to encounter you so... abruptly. That's right--that livestream of yours! You somehow became an omnipotent goddess dwarfing the entire Earth... or something like that. I think I may have done too much research on that, and now my head's full of conflicting facts from many, many different sources."

"Ah, you got the gist right there! I don't really know how it happened, nor do I particularly care. It's great, but lonely too."

"Lonely?"

"Yeah. It's amazing being so supremely powerful, but it gets old kinda quick with no one else around."

"Oh, I know what you mean! That's kinda like when I was in cryo for nine years. I was alone--save for Snowball--until I was able to receive that emergency message from Winston to get the band back together. I hiked through the cold Antarctic until I found another base to transport me back."

"It's, uh... sorta kinda like that. It's not that I'm isolated from people physically, but that I'm so disproportionately powerful compared to literally everyone else on Earth. There's no one I can call a peer anymore."

"Alone in a crowd, so to speak," Mei summed up.

"Right," D.Va nodded. "So I was thinking, maybe, only if you want... I could... y-you know... give you my powers."

Mei was stunned silent. She finally uttered, "What."

"What?"

"I think I misheard you. It sounded like you wanted to... to give me your powers?"

"Right."

"And... make me... into a goddess?"

"Yeah!"

"I... I... I'm overwhelmed! Th-that sounds absolutely incredible... b-but it's such a life-changing decision... I-I don't know how to react!"

"Oh, you'll be fine! You'll be omnipotent--capable of literally anything! And besides, I'll be right by your side if you encounter any trouble! I mean, to you, it was only a week ago that that livestream of mine took place, but for me, I've been experimenting and learning how to use my powers to their fullest extent for a few millennia now!"

"That's..." Mei began slowly, still dazed. She whispered mostly to herself, "Truly incredible.... a goddess... an omnipotent goddess..."

"Right." D.Va licked her lips. "You know... it's impossible to keep secrets from me. I can tell you're aroused by all this. You want this. You want me."

She was spot on, Mei realized as her face reddened. Keeping up her facade was pointless now, so she dropped it right then and there.

"Oh, so much..." she moaned as she became acutely aware of how much she was sweating. Her cold weather gear certainly wasn't helping there.

"You're absolutely right--I do love you. I always have. Please... please give it to me. If you do, I'll stay by your side for all eternity, and give you more pleasure than even you can comprehend."

D.Va smiled, pleased with the proposal. A blink of her blue-glowing eyes caused Mei's tank top to be pulled down, unveiling her substantial and succulent breasts.

"You know, I always knew you had an awesome figure," she said, massaging one of Mei's breasts. "Even if that coat of yours usually hid it."

Mei moaned as flecks of blue light began forming in her brown eyes. Her moaning turned into piercing screams of ecstasy as D.Va continued.

Another blink caused Mei's yoga pants and boots to vanish. She was apparently going commando, D.Va realized with a smirk. One more blink caused D.Va's breasts to double in size, bursting through her bodysuit. Another blink cleaned up the damage, making it look as though the mechsuit was designed to bare the wearer's breasts.

"But, don't expect me to do all the work here," she said. "I'd like to have some fun too."

Mei grinned, utterly euphoric. Every part of her felt so inconceivably good, but all that paled in comparison to finally being alone with the girl she had loved for so long. Her infusion of power had corrected her vision, so she discarded her glasses. "Of course, darling. I'll make you cum so hard the whole universe feels it!"

In the middle of a pink-tinted starfield, Mei lays half-undressed atop a bed, sweating. D.Va's eyes and bodysuit glow brilliant blue, reflecting in Mei's glasses. She gropes one of Mei's bared breasts as Mei gently touches D.Va's face.

The image I used is fanart of Mei-Ling Zhou (aka Mei, left) and Hana Song (aka D.Va, right) from Overwatch, done by Liangxing on Patreon. However, the particular version I used came from Danbooru.