The Omnipaladin
Originally posted 2019-08-02
My first caption depicting an omnipotent male character! I realize otoko no kos are a somewhat niche fetish, but I had been meaning to do something with Astolfo for a while, and I like how this one turned out. I have plans for more, in fact... unless this one is so poorly received that I reconsider.
The image I used is fanart of Astolfo from Fate, done by damda on Pixiv--however it has since been deleted, so here's a Danbooru mirror. Moreover, it was apparently uploaded to Pixiv just a couple days ago, July 31 at 7:30 AM (presumably Japan time, though that could be my local time--not sure how Pixiv handles that). That also happened with that Kanade caption I made a while back, if by some miracle you pay that close attention to my work. If that applies to you, then please, with all due respect, get a life.
The original picture included a fallen ice cream cone, bag, smartphone, and a small plush of Sieg. As I was unable to come up with an adequate way of incorporating that arbitrary selection of of items (without making Astolfo into a Japanese student, I suppose), I opted to edit them out (which I totally didn't attempt to veil by adding bloom around Astolfo, no siree bob).
Moreover, I had originally intended to put the text on the left, but formatting it so it didn't waste space, didn't cover up Astolfo, and didn't leave any blank lines at the bottom of the image became too much of a hassle, so I flipped it to how it's presented here.
Thanks to OmniScribbler for proposing the title--everything I came up with was just bad.
Weren't expecting me to show up here, were you? Well, the powers that be hadn't exactly planned for my arrival, but if I followed their schedule, then I'd never show up here! And besides, what makes them think they can tell me what to do in the first place? They do know how powerful I am, right?
I've seen people like them a million times now. They think they're so confident in what makes their bodies react... then I come along. I was coy about it for a while but now it's just getting dull, everyone falling in love with me. Don't get me wrong, it's always fun to rock some virgin's world every now and again, but the newness of it all has worn off.
Of course, that was before I became omnipotent! Now, instead of merely rocking a virgin's world, rather, I leave them in a pleasure coma that becomes so intense with time that it eventually just clicks back to zero, bringing them back to normal after a few days of constantly cumming their brains out! It's so amazing that anyone who experiences it falls for me afterwards, guaranteed!
You know, every time that happens, I feel all that pleasure too--I just have the power to keep myself lucid. The best part is that it doesn't dissipate with time, ever! I just keep feeling more and more and more infinities of pleasure forever!
Mmmm... talking about it's getting me in the mood. Plus you've been staring up my skirt this whole time. I mean, I realize I appear as a still image accompanied by a transcription of what I'm saying, but you could work on maintaining eye contact! Just because I look frozen doesn't mean I am! Your perception of the world around you is nowhere near what it actually is.
Well, enough chastising you. Wanna fuck? I see that sparkle in your eyes, no matter how hard you try to look uninterested!
Big Dick Energy
Originally posted 2020-03-21
A sequel to my previous Astolfo caption, above.
One conspicuous benefit of this style of captions is that I don't have to worry about fitting the text around a given space. The shape of Astolfo and their monster dong proved a challenge, but it's definitely easier this way.
Fun fact: Astolfo is 164 cm tall and weighs 56 kg. You know who else that is that tall and weighs that much? Vegeta. This means all of Vegeta's extra muscle mass weighs roughly the same as Astolfo's dick.
The image I used is fanart of Astolfo from Fate, done by Sinensian on Pixiv. Unfortunately, the picture was deleted there, so here's a mirror on Sankaku Complex.
Thanks to Akane for beta reading.
Oh, hey again! I thought I'd see how big I can make my cock--what do you think?
Well, I should clarify--this is hardly my upper limit. I'm very much a grower, and this thing is barely even half-erect yet, not to mention that I can magically augment it without limit and to my heart's delight too! I could have it go farther than you could see! I could even have it go past the moon!
Ah, I can tell you're getting riled up just imagining how big and powerful it can get. I'm afraid it would almost certainly kill you, though. You know how you shouldn't fuck a horse? Same principle, though you'd also pop like an overfilled water balloon when I cum. Sorry.
However, I could enhance your body so you could take it. I could make you into a giant so I'd comfortably fit inside you, even at my biggest. Or I could make you stretchy, so all the cum fits. Or I could make you indestructible, so you could take all the punishment I can put out. Hell, I could even make you omnipotent like me and a puny half-erect thing like this would be laughably easy for you to handle!
Of course, if I make you omnipotent, then we could simplify the process enormously and just merge our essences together. From there, there's no limit to what pleasures we could enjoy! We could even become pleasure itself! We could even become something entirely new that puts your definition of pleasure to shame by comparison! Just imagine what that would feel like!
Ha! If we do that, then my huge cock doesn't even enter into the equation! Regardless, I can tell you're just about jizzing yourself at the opportunity to become all-powerful, so let's start there! We'll have all eternity to decide how best to fuck afterwards~!
Good Things Cum to Those Who Wait
Originally posted 2020-06-12
Or: Astolfo the Coomer
The idea of a magic cock ring that suppresses orgasms was loosely inspired by Ultra Bra's Loads--though in that instance, the ring still allowed a fuckton of cum to be unleashed, spraying clear through the planet and coating the universe's boundaries in cum.
Thanks to Akane for beta reading and additional contributions.
The image I used is fanart of Astolfo from Fate, done by metal own (aden12) on Pixiv. However, the original was deleted, so here's a Danbooru mirror.
With the benefit of four years of hindsight (this Neocities revision was written 2024-08-07), I now realize this is a sort of gooning.
I... may have gone a bit too far this time~! This cock ring I'm wearing is specifically designed to suppress my orgasms. It's very good at that, but it's not perfect. It only stops the cum from being ejaculated, as opposed to terminating lewd thoughts in my head. As a result, my cock inevitably becomes extra sensitive and I get hornier and hornier, since I can't help but think about when I'll finally blow--one of the not-really-a-curse curses of my absolute power~
My balls keep getting bigger and fuller and my cock keeps getting thicker and tighter--I think I'll explode before long! I honestly can't even imagine how good that will feel! It might not look too impressive to you, but that's because I compressed its size down significantly! If it was at full size, you wouldn't be able to see the rest of me~! ❤
On paper, you might think it's unhealthy to push myself to such lengths, but since I'm omnipotent, I can bounce back from any degree of sexual overstimulation easily! If anything, this is actually healthy for me, since it keeps my urges in check! If you spend a month not masturbating, then when that month ends, the first thing you're gonna do is go apeshit on your cock--provided you're able to restrain yourself until that month ends. That release after all that waiting is way more satisfying! It's the same principle for me, only I can go to unfathomable extremes that would kill a mortal countless times over! Really, at the end of the day, if I want to fill my balls to capacity and beyond with cum and unleash it all at once, then why shouldn't I? It's not like anyone can stop me!
Speaking of unleashing... I think it's time! You might want to step back...!
Built Different
Originally posted 2022-04-06
Spoilers for Fate/Grand Order's "Lostbelt No. 6: Fairy Round Table Domain, Avalon le Fae" within!
This was an idea that Akane shared with me and I decided to make into a caption.
Thanks to Akane and Kingbobman for beta reading. Additional thanks to the VS Battles Wiki for help in gauging Barghest's lifting strength. Admittedly, they don't have a page for her, but they do have one for the original Gawain--Barghest is the Fairy Knight variant. I guesstimated her strength based on her being significantly stronger than him, especially during her Lostbelt. I'm operating on the assumption that's the apex of her capabilities.
The number I arrived at for Barghest's bench press is 100 teragrams, or 2.778E+9 times more than Ritsuka's 36 kg. That's on the high end of VS Battles' Class G lifting strength.
The image I used is fanart of Barghest (left) and male Ritsuka Fujimaru (right) from Fate/Grand Order, done by Freeman on Pixiv (second image).
Hey, don't worry! No one lifts a ton on their first day, sweetie~!
W-well, I suppose I do, but that's nothing you should be ashamed of. Bluntly put, I'm just built different. Fairies of the Fang Clan are inherently stronger than humans, and I was exceptional even before my ascensions, hence my ability to bench press over 100 billion kilograms with ease. I can't deny I enjoy being so powerful, but I'm mostly just glad to be strong enough to protect you from any and all threats, Master! That's my job, my duty as your servant!
And besides, you managed to bench press 36 kilos back there. For a beginner of your weight, that's not bad! With time and commitment, I know you can become significantly stronger! Any master of mine who can accept my grotesque appearance and heal my wounds following the loss of my self-restraint is capable of anything!
I can't help but think back to that day, when my Antennae of A-Rei were badly damaged. I thought it was all over for you, that I was going to devour you like I had so many other fairies. If you had told me immediately after my summoning that your embrace would be enough to overcome my cannibalistic instincts, I would've written you off as a liar and a fool.
Really, you being alive at all after that is more than proof enough that you're capable of anything. So please, don't sell yourself short just because you don't feel your ability to bench press is up to par. Setting your expectations at my level is a recipe for disaster, especially when that level is lifting the equivalent weight of every human on Earth!
How are you feeling now? What say we go back to the bench press and start working your way to 40 kilos? Or, if you're done for today, maybe you'd prefer to join me in the showers~?
